Kenny Kicker On John Terry & The New World Order
That John Terry’s a fucking Mossad grass lad. Telling yer, I saw him and Lampard coming out of the synagogue on Greenbank Drive with Rex Makin, Ian Broudie, Gideon Ben-Hur, Louise Ellman, Ken Dodd, Herbert, Pete Price, Rabbi Lionel Messi and Roman Abramovich. Terry and Lamps got off in a blacked out Rangey with the number plate ‘M055 ad1’ and it looked like Pancake and Stan Boardman were in the front cos they’re both double agents with the Mexican La Familia cartel and the Turkish mafia lad, telling yer, I saw them both in the Miami Pizza place on Smithdown with these fellars wearing sombreros and blowing on them pan pipes meeting these fellars with big mad muzzys, wearing fez’s waving Besiktas flags.
Swear down lad, it’s all being controlled by Woody Allen from his secret hideout in Colorado. Our kid’s been there, he’s special forces kidda, one of the Navy Otters who go into Afghanistan dressed up as goats. Woody Allen and the fellar from Taxi are the leaders, they’ve got this secret base under the Grand Canyon where they make these mad films about how the Iranians are making nuclear bombs and sending out on the internet.
Obama knows all about it lad, he’s one of em, him and Mitt Romeny went to Roughwood comp together then moved to America, they’re both Mormons and my aunty Sue got roped into that lot and remembers meeting Obama in the Salt Lake City branch of Aldi with his seven wives. Anyway, Abramovich and Woody are like that lad, in fact he was behind Yeltsin’s campaign cos he knew that Boris was fucked on the beak and would sign away all the oil and that to Roman and his mob once they fitted him up with this Rumanian brass and took a load of photos of him sucking off this rabbit.
Abramovich had him banged after that, got David Blaine to poke him up the arse with a poison umbrella and then he took over all the Russian grafts with Boris Becker, who’s a neo-nazi double agent with links to the EDL and Bayern Munich’s firm. He was at the match on Satday lad, I saw him with Abramovich, Henry Kissinger, Rupert Murdoch’s bird, Bill Turnbull, Alan Hansen and Terry’s arl fellar in the Wetherspoons in the centre of Munich.
They went in the bogs with Terry’s dad sorting out out some lemo and I followed em in but the Klitschko brothers were guarding the shitter but I could hear em all snorting lad and then I heard Woody Allen telling a joke about these three rabbis. Swear down lad, on me ma’s dog’s life, they’re all in it together lad, John Terry, Bernie Winters, John W Henry, Roy Hodgson, Joe Anderson, Herbert, the whole mob.