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The Farewell (1)

March 26, 2012

THE FAREWELL 2

Him
Is that it then?

Her
I suppose so

Him
That’s it?

Her
Yeah

Him
You’ve got nothing else to say?

Her
Like what?

Him
Like, I dunno, a reason

Her
You want a reason?

Him
It’d help

Her
Maybe there isn’t a reason

Him
There’s always a reason

Her
Not always

Him
There is, always

Her
Well I don’t have a reason

Him
You do

Her
You’re telling me I have a reason?

Him
Yeah

Her
OK. Maybe the reason is…

Him
Go on!

Her
You’re too impatient

Him
Smart-arse

Her
No seriously, you’re always pushing

Him
Pushing?

Her
Yeah pushing, you’re pushy, a pushy sort of person

Him
Am I?

Her
(nods)

Him
Pushy? A pushy sort of person.

Her
Don’t take it personally

Him
What other way is there to take it?

Her
I mean, that’s just how you are, that’s all

Him
In what way am I pushy?

Her
Oh, I haven’t got time for this

Him
No, go on, the least you can do is explain to me how I’m pushy

Her
You wanted a reason, I gave you a reason, end of conversation

Him
So that’s it?

Her
That’s it

Him
That’s all you’re giving me?

Her
What else do you want?

Him
A better reason than ‘i’m pushy’

Her
Well that’s all you’re going to get

Him
And you still haven’t answered my question

Her
What question?

Him
In what way am I pushy?

Her
Like this conversation for example

Him
This is me being pushy?

Her
You said it

Him
This isn’t pushy

Her
It feels pushy to me

Him
Well it isn’t

Her
It is to me

Him
Well maybe some people need pushing

Her
What do you mean by that?

Him
Well, if I’m being pushy maybe that’s because some people need pushing

Her
Some people?

Him
OK, you

Her
In what way do I need pushing?

Him
In every way

Her
Name one

Him
The obvious

Her
You’ll have to be more specific

Him
You know what I mean

Her
No, go on enlighten me

Him
Marriage

Her
Oh not that again, that’s what I mean

Him
I’m only asking for some commitment

Her
You’ve had my commitment for six years

Him
Proper commitment I mean

Her
Living with someone for six years isn’t proper commitment?

Him
Obviously not

Her
Well I can’t be any more committed

Him
You can

Her
By marrying you?

Him
Yeah, why not?

Her
Because I’m not being pushed into something I don’t want to do

Him
Well at least we know where we stand now

Her
You’ve always known where I’ve stood

Him
Yeah, I do and that’s the reason is it?

Her
It’s a reason

Him
There are other reasons?

Her
Lots of them

Him
Let’s hear them then

Her
OK, if you insist

Him
I do insist

Her
Here goes then

Him
I’m waiting
Her
I hate the way you dress, I hate the way you eat, I hate the way you call me ‘darling’ when we’re in front of your mates, I hate the stink you leave in the toilet every morning, I hate the snivelling little boy you become when you get told off by your mum, I hate the way you breathe through your nose, I hate the way you follow me around shops with a mood on, I hate your tedious stories about the army, I hate your boring brother and your selfish sister, I hate your hair style, I hate your musical taste, I hate your habit of twitching your leg when you’re watching the telly, I hate your job and your work mates and their girlfriends, I hate sleeping next to you when you’re pissed, I hate sleeping next to you when you’re not pissed, I hate the way you think sticking your tongue down my throat is sexually arousing, I hate your stupid fucking tribal tattoos, I hate your self-deluded belief in your own talent, I hate your politics or rather lack of them, I hate your aftershave and your deodorant, I hate the way you try to hide watching lesbian porn by clearing the history from google search, I hate your car and I hate your ma. Will that do?

Him
Jesus! Where did that come from?

Her
A valentine’s card

Him
So, I guess we’re finished

Her
I guess we are

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