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Cameron Tackles Problem Families

December 18, 2011


David Cameron has unveiled a new scheme to help dysfunctional families across Britain. One notorious problem family from London, the Windsors have been targeted in a bid to stop generations of benefit cheats sponging off the state. A neighbour of the family told Swine.

“There’s loads of ’em and none of em have got proper jobs. They all live in their own mansions paid for by hard-working tax payers like me and they rub your noses in it, jetting off on foreign holidays all the time and driving around in flash cars and gold carriages. It makes me mad to see these bastards poncing off the state when I work a 70 hour week for the minimum wage, so I’ve called that benefiit fraud hotline to grass em up.”

However a Tory spokesperson has rebuffed the idea that spending millions of pounds on sorting out families like the Windsors is money well spent in the middle of a recession. Giles Catamite told Swine

“What families like the Windsors need isn’t a bunch of do-gooder so-called trouble shooters telling them how to raise their kids so they don’t go out drinkiing in nightclubs all the time and running up massive bills on clothes and food and weddings when they can’t  afford to pay for it, what they need is prison. It’s the only way to sort out scum like this, make them pay back every penny they’ve stolen from the state and forcibly sterilise them so they can’t breed any more little parasites eating way at the social fabric of the nation.”


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