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Swine ban e-petitions e-petition rejected

November 21, 2011

In yet another diisgraceful example of government double-think and hypocrisy, Swine’s e-petetion request to ban e-petetions has been rejected on the basis that a ‘similar e-petetion already exists’.

Now, I don’t want to claim that Cameron is shitting himself after our request got 1 signature and we were only 999,999 names away from this going to another government arbitrator to decide if our democratically elected representatives had the time to discuss this and other issues popular with armchair fascists and Bill Turnbull lookalikes.

But I have it on high authority that Swine is read widely in the corridors of power and even in the House of Commons and that our e-petition sent shock waves throughout the establishment and that MI5 and News International secret agents were sent to spy on us and feed their footage back to Stoke manager, Tony Pulis.

The mysterious rejection from ‘up high’ seems odd as before registering the request, we completed the search function on the website’s on-line registration form and no similar e-petetions were found. Now, supposing we did in fact find another 99,999 loyal Swine readers to join our crusade, there’s no guarantee that the faceless ‘adjudicator’ will pass our petition to the next level of bureaucratic sifting that weeds out potentially embarassing subjects for the fat, self-serving maggots to actually discuss inbetween making bogus expenses claims, taking bungs from arms dealers and telling every fucker there’s no money left after handing over trillions to the banks.

Ofcourse the whole point of our e-petition was to highlight the counter-democratic PR exercise of the policy itself. In that we have triumphed over cynicism and scored a victory for the little person who goes unheard in cyberspace where no-one can hear you e-scream! To see our official rejection visit the website here….

http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/22731

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