This, That & The Other
‘Brick Up Nicky Allt’ is a hilarious new theatre production aimed at the kind of people who find Legally Blonde too high-brow. The play is a lightweight farce based around the popular Scouse playwright, Nicky Allt who has been bricked up inside his outside ‘lavvy’ in Huyton by angry theatre critics desperate to stop him penning any more shite plays about bricking up tunnels or blowing up bridges. Can Nicky escape before the opening night of his latest masterpiece, ‘Blow Up The Brooklyn Bridge’ begins on Broadway?
Walking up from Lime St on the 12th July, what’s left of Liverpool’s Orange Lodge passed by in their kerrazy uniforms, sashes and headgear celebrating the defeat of the Papists and the victory of unelected, in-bred aristocrats to thieve the public purse ever since. And yet, this rump of Protestant fanatics wasn’t as ridiculous as the other parade taking place in the city this week. No, for the next few weeks the city centre is chocka with thousands upon thousands of proud mums and dads, brothers and sisters in ill-fitting suits and maxi dresses celebrating their sons/daughters/brothers/sisters/mate’s ‘graduation.’ Now, I’ve got nothing against kids working hard at their O and A levels and going to University to do their degrees but surely the ultimate aim of modern education is not to equip our children with an understanding of culture and science but simply to pay the vastly inflated salaries of University administrators and lecturers.
Since the old polys became Universities and all further education establishments began to compete for students, the ‘market’ has dictated the education system for its own ends. That is why A level marks have never been higher and anyone with half a brain and a few grand in their arse pocket (or a lovely loan) can get a place in some uni or other. The elitism of Oxbridge continues unabated and 9k a year fees will smokescreen the real outrage over our educational apartheid. Fees are only one part of attending university, they don’t pay for books, accomodation and all the other add on expenses of 4 years doing a degree. That is why Liverpool city centre fills up once a year with the same obnoxious Middle English accents as families celebrate their fantastic Francesca going straight onto Jobseekers as she ponders a gap year before getting an internship at daddy’s firm. A cliche, I suppose but whereas working class kids have been priced out of university for decades, now the fees and debts racked up by relatively well off families is looking to be a poor return on their ‘investment.’ Maybe they should put fees up to 20k a term and then only the chinless shoe ins from Eton and scholarship scallys would qualify?
Alister Campbell’s old chums in the ‘intelligence service’ have been dissing him a ‘rogue missile’ in the run up to the war in Iraq. What the terrible conclusion of Campbell/Blair/Bush axis proves is that no matter how powerful you think you are, you are only ever being manipulated by people who have a far greater vested interest than you. Bush is played by the same capitalist cabals as Blair and Campbell allowed his paranoia to transform himself from a decent journalist and socialist into a war mongering monster, a bullying apologist for the very people he once loathed and who certainly still loathe him. Blair was always just another public school patrician playing the game and looking at that big pot of gold in the post-war aftermath. I imagine him and Cherie sat in a swimming pool full of blood writing out ‘Thank you for your kind gift’ cards to the families of dead soldiers. Middle East Peace Envoy indeed!
It was Campbell’s misfortune to be protective of this egomaniac and in light of the Sun’s campaign against Kinnock maybe his style of robust ‘on message’ news maangement was exactly what New Labour required at the time of their election victory in 97. However what it resulted in was a culture of fear and a refusal to stand up to Murdoch and other press and media barons, who were only ever as powerful as the politicians allowed them to be anyway. So fuck Gordon Brown and all the other shithouses, sneaks, cowards, arselickers and phoneys who now wear ermine or sit on six figure pension plans in the name of ‘the common man’ and let’s not forget David Kelly in all this, a man hounded to death by Campbell and Blair in their lust for war and its proceeds.