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I Belong To Glarstow

June 24, 2011

Everyone loves Glarstow don’t they? The BBC certainly does, sending along an army of middle class lickspittles to report on the biggest gathering of middle class lickspittles in the nation’s glorious calender of middle class lickspittle events that the BBC covers. 6music will play it in their safe ‘edgy’ way with boring ironists and token ‘Reggies’ as if this is a celebration of good old British bio-diversity not a damning critique of the conservative nature of white middle class values.

How many black people will be in the audience I wonder? Yah, Beyonce’s headlining but worry not, Coldplay and U2’s vageuly political brand of platitudinal rock will be the order of the day. Radiohead will perhaps do their Aphex Twin tribute act along with a few classics to keep the fans and organisers happy. ‘I’m a creep, I’m a loser’ er, no you’re not, you’re a very wealthy Oxbridge educated dullard so go and study philosophy and do something worthwhile with your life, like Prof Brian Cox OBE (not really, he should go back to twatting the keyboards in an annoyingly upbeat pop-house chart band from Leeds).

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be flcking over from BBC2 to BBC3 and from BBC3 to BBC4 tonight maybe even listening to further coverage on Radio 1, 2, 6 and BBC News. Cos this is The Derby of the music calender, the Badminton Horse Trials, the Boat race, Wimbledon, Hay Festival, Henley regata and the Royal Wedding all rolled into one big happy we’re all in it together tribal gathering of flag waving Proud To Be British camp bastion kness up and even Beyonce, perhaps the most thrilling performer of the past decade, will be tolerated by the Wills and Pippas of Blighty.

other acts to watch out :

TH MSSNG VWL BND
Titchy Gangsta
The Revolving Door Fiasco
Archetype
Half Chips Half Curry
If You Say So
This Way To The End (of) The WoRLD Please GentleM(EN)
Cuntstrick
Shallow Reminders
John Peel Rot In Hell
Good Luck In Leicester/Good Lookin’ Lester
Are You The Maid?
Eavis Whelps

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3 Comments
  1. nar permalink

    Do some research. Thom Yorke wasn’t educated at either Oxford or Cambridge.

    • just been on wikipaedia? i’ve got an idea for a musical about a jewish nonce it’s called ‘kiddy fiddler on
      t he roof’

  2. “Do some research. Thom Yorke wasn’t educated at either Oxford or Cambridge.”

    May be not… but he’s still a fucking big ‘nonce’ !

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