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Royal Wedding News

April 13, 2011

As newspapers and TV swallow the monarchist propaganda spewed out by the Buck House media mafia, Swine bring you 30 convaluted ‘news’ stories that will have you whetting your lips for the wedding no-one is calling ‘the biggest thing since Saddam’s hanging’

Kate chooses tacky clit ring

Wills meets troops with his nan in Afghanistan

Harry begins Amazon charity walk for disabled African child soldiers

Prince Philip eats dead Grand National horses

Queen agrees to call her new grand daughter Kat Slater

Kate chooses next Crimewatch Presenter

Wills filmed in Libya rescuing maimed kids from bombed out buildings

Harry walks the south pole  barefoot for goats with cancer charity

Prince Philip shoots Middletons nanny dead

Kate decides to quit methadone

Wills sucks off David Beckham while Seb Coe has a wank

Harry snorts mum’s ashes in charity run fun for endangered otters

Prince Philip stabs Nicholas Witchell in the arse for being ‘a ginger prick’

Queen finishes Daily Star’s Quick Crossword in record time; 3 days

Kate approves of arranged marriages and banning of burkas

Wills filmed saving drowning downs syndrome kid in water park horror

Harry declares war on Iran with select band of Help For Heroes  squaddy crooners

Queen paints ‘Fuck off’ on side of royal carriage

Prince Philip beheads Samantha Cameron with a soup spoon as Seb Coe wanks

Kate smiles sweetly whilst flipping the heads of a thousand rats in a frying pan

Wills captures Osama Bin Laden in daring Space Shuttle raid on Al Queda moon camp

Harry fucks entire Eton cricket team in charity bumathon for homeless nurses

Queen abolishes the letter K and bans its use in her realm

Prince Philip throws dog shit at Japanese schoolkids whilst Seb Coe wanks

Kate meets poor northern people and pisses on their kids

Wills crowned King Of The Universe by Prof Brian Cox OBE and given special horse like super powers

Harry converts to Islam and blows up Westminster cathedral 

Queen dies screaming ‘I’ve been duped’ to smirking royal ‘advisors’

Prince Philip sheds his third skin and calls down the mothership


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  1. Fat Jeff permalink

    “Wills sucks off David Beckham while Seb Coe has a wank”

    I’ve just spat my coffeee all over my screen at that. 🙂

  2. scott o permalink

    ace. proper made me laugh that.

  3. Swine Magazine having only one bigest news which is about royal wedding ceremony . I have never seen before like this wedding ceremony .Its also my dream but……..?

  4. You’re fuckin Dead swine. You Republican Scouse bastards so you are

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