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Prisoners Debate MPs’ voting rights

February 10, 2011

In a historic vote today, prisoners all across the UK are meeting to discuss whether to allow MPs the right to vote. Although traditionally all MPs are felt to be too corrupt and inheritantly dishonest to allowed full suffrage rights, the European Courts have demanded that the UK meets its human rights obligations by allowing its political representatives the right to cast their vote in all elections.

Lifer, Mad Pat McMurder speaking from his pad is outraged at this move.

“I don’t see why these expense fiddling, corporate backhander bunging bastards should be given any say in what happens to honest law abiding citizens. It’s political correctness gone mad.”

His pad mate Sid Kite was equally appalled.

“They sit there in Brussels thinking of these daft laws and don’t take any notice of us ordinary thieves, conmen and rapists. Why should we allow these scumbags the same rights as everyone else? They made their choice to become MPs and should live with consequences. Next thing they’ll be telling us all MPs should be allowed second home allowances and free hot meals at fancy restaurants at the taxpayer’s expense. It makes my blood boil.”

However there are some lags who have some sympathy for MPs. One prisoner, who didn’t wish to be named told us,

“Everyone deserves a second chance in my book. So what if they’ve been MPs, that shouldn’t count against you for the rest of your life. I know most people think all MPs are a bunch of self-serving, conniving maggots who are only interested in their own advancement but we have to try and rehabilitate them and giving them the vote will help to reintegrate them into mainstream society.”

One MP, Sir Humphrey Double-Ledger dismissed the vote as a politcal stunt. “I don’t even want to vote anyway” he said at his country retreat, “we’re all the same whoever’s in charge. This has more to do with prisoners talking tough on law and order and banging the anti-EU drum than a serious vote on extending voting rights to a minority of backbenchers whose votes won’t matter in any case. When’s dinner? “


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