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Charles & Camilla experience ‘reality’ shock!

December 10, 2010

Prince Charles and Camilla as royal car is attacked

Charles – Errgh, what’s all this fuss about Arsewipe

Arsewipe (driving slowly and coming to a halt) I believe it’s a student protest your Highness.

Camilla – Students! Pah! So common. Remove them at once Arsewipe!

Arsewipe – I’m afraid, the rest of the security and the police seem to have allowed these people within our royal hemisphere m’lady.

Charles – This is an outrage! Look that chappy is trying to smash our window, Arsewipe!

Camilla – Arsewipe, do something you facking idiot, you know how to speak to these people.

Protestors – Can I have your autograph please?

Charles – Gah! What are they protesting about Arsewipe?

Arsewipe – Fees I believe your majesty.

Camilla – What are ‘fees’ Arsewipe?

Arsewipe – It’s the money you have to pay to go to university maaaaam.

Camilla – You mean one has to pay? How very common!

Charles – Grhp! Did I have to pay for ergh, Wills and Harry to go to University Arsewipe?

Arsewipe – No, oh holy one, the tax payer paid for that I believe.

Charles – Jfff, quite right too, bleeding me dry this shower, run them over Arsewipe, we’re going to miss Take That!

Arsewipe – I’m afraid I can’t move your Almightyness, there appears to be protestors all around us.

Protestors throw paint and kick window shouting ‘It’s Simon Cowel and Susan Boyle!’

Camilla – Gaaaaaaaahhhhhh! Charles, I’m really frightened, can’t you shoot them?

Charles – Pass me my gun Arsewipe!

Arsewipe – We left it back at the place  your supreme being-ness.

Camilla – If we miss Take That, I’ll have you shot Arsewipe, now hurry up and get us out of here!

Charles – Step on it Arsewipe! Don’t they realise who I am? I’m their King, their deity, their benefactor! Is this how they re-pay me  for all the years of service to keeping them safe from genetically modified terrorists? This would never have happened under Mussolini Arsewipe!

Arsewipe – No sir, if I may be so bold, would you mind awfully if I fucked off before they start tearing you limb from limb?

Charles – Certainly not, stay at your post man, my cufflinks need re-polishing!

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