Those Turner Prize Nominations

Ben Hur Chutney (above) draws upon Rentaghost and biblical accounts of Babylonian street fashion to create a one woman flash mob that fuses performance art with living theatre that questions traditional notions of art and bullshit.

Fluke Lawler found some old cinefilm of his grandfather taking his dog for a walk on a Fife beach in 1937. By looping 5 seconds of this film over 8 hours and placing the sound of mating ostriches over the top, Lawler constructs a monumental work that challenges orthodox concepts of bullshit and conceptualism.

Pete Nosebleed (above)

For his solo exhibition at the Taka Dapiz Gallery in Instanbul, 56 year old Devonian, Nosebleed created a series of strange pencil and ink islands populated by pretentious artists depicted as massive dog shits who spent all their hours drawing imagined islands populated by massive dog shits depicted as pretentious artists. His work is at once humourless and laugh out loud shit and by confronting accepted ideas of drawing and money grabbing, Nosebleed is amongst our finest charlatans.

Victoria Sponge

Sponge uses film, sound, clay, milk bottle tops, sperm, licorish allsorts, monkey penises, brown sauce, semiotic fluid, toe nails and deisel to produce surroundsound magical moodscapes that have to implanted in tiny electrodes attached to the genitals of the viewer for an authentic ’4-D’ experience that at once provokes boredom and deep depression.